Debasement

Nothing and everything have been redefined so many times that they have become synonymous.  

I often find myself thinking about all of the things that I used to have. In the end that's all they were, things. Simple possessions that inevitably did nothing to bring me happiness. There was a moment I often recollect from the summer of 2016. I had recently become homeless for the first time in my life. The majority of my stuff was still in an place that was I paying rent for, but told I wasn't allowed to be in. I had made arrangements to go back and start packing things up. I stood in the townhouse which, with the exception of my roommates bedroom, was furnished exclusively with my belongings. Not even two weeks had passed since I first shot dope. I cried as I looked around, overwhelmed with the thought that I lost my house and stood to lose everything else. I think even then I knew it was inevitable because I'd already lost myself. Then I wept as I realized that none of it brought me happiness. I laid down on the floor and held my dog, who was obviously confused but that didn't stop him from feeling my pain. He licked my face and gave me the first glimpse of the lessons in humility I was about to experience. I don't place much value in things anymore.